BLACK LIVES MATTER

Black Lives Matter.

FULL STOP.

No BUT/IF/WHEN.

After a week of stilling my own voice to listen to others - I am taking some time to reflect on what I have learned and ask myself the question, “where do I go from here?”

I have listened to podcasts, read books, read articles and spent my time on social media keeping my eyes and ears wide open. This is all a lot to process. I am not sitting here to announce the end of a week focused on Black Lives Matter - I am here to recognize that this is just the beginning. And as I get back to what may appear as business as usual, I am recognizing that our entire country is taking a change baton to the meaning of “usual”.

I will continue to hold space for & elevate Black voices. I will continue to listen, learn and act in my own life. I will continue to make mistakes and learn from them.

Social Media is a powerful tool. Your voice is a powerful tool.

But I also want to remind you…

There are lots of ways to show up.

You can use your body, your money, your voice, your brain, your ears or your time.

“Say what you need to on social media. Then put down your phone & pick up your life. Not many will see you learning, confessing, repenting, uprooting, re-tooling, forgiving, inviting, empowering. But we will see its fruit. The hidden work is the heart work is the hard work” - @Ashlee_Eiland

Continue to challenge your friends and family with hard questions but also respect that they may have a different way of showing up than you.

In reflection of this last week I want to share a few lessons I have learned and plan to keep at the forefront of my mind as I continue to do more work.

Being a non-racist is not enough.
Making a racist statement does not make you a racist. The first step is admitting your mistakes and being willing to learn from them rather taking a defensive stance.
Keep listening, keep learning. Diversify where and from who your content is coming from.
Keep the conversation focused on what matters.
There are different types of silence.

Being a non-racist is not enough.

This is a lesson that I am still processing the depth of. It’s a tough pill to swallow because it forces me to accept that a lifetime of valuing kindness and humanity has made no difference in a fight against racism.

Having a country full of non-racists is not enough to unlearn and undo the effects of hundreds of years of building systemic racism. I strongly encourage all of you to go listen to Brené Brown's podcast episode with Ibram X. Kendi on How to Be an Antiracist. The book How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi will be something I plan to read to continue to learn what this means for me and how to take action towards this belief.

Do you want to look like a better person or do you want to be one? It is easy to say “I’m not racist”. It is really really hard to take action to be an anti-racist.

“When you believe niceness disproves the presence of racism, it’s easy to start believing bigotry is rare, and that the label racist should be applied only to mean-spirited, intentional acts of discrimination. The problem with this framework—besides being a gross misunderstanding of how racism operates in systems and structures enabled by nice people—is that it obligates me to be nice in return, rather than truthful. I am expected to come closer to the racists. Be nicer to them. Coddle them.”

— Austin Changing Brown

Making a racist statement does not make you a racist.

There is a new encouragement in this movement for people to keep trying. Try it, get it wrong, learn from it, do it again and continue to want to do better.

White conversations around race often end too soon because we said something wrong and we allow that to be the end of it. We get defensive and just stop talking about it. This is a part of the problem. It allows us to stay rooted in what we believe to be non-racist beliefs without thinking about how to further the conversation. I have felt the space around this conversation shift - people are willing to listen and learn to others who are willing to be patient with forgiveness and teach. People are being encouraged to get it wrong as long as you’re participating.

Have I admitted to holding extreme privilege in the past? Yes, absolutely. Have I ever admitted to participating in racist ideas or conversations? No. But I’m ready to now. Because here is the thing… making a racist statement does not make you a racist. It means you made a mistake. And now is the time to recognize the mistake rather than covering it up and moving on like nothing ever happened. America’s history has been re-written to exclude HUGE mistakes our country has made because we don’t want to face them. Ignoring these mistakes has allowed us to move on like they never happened rather than to learn from them. It has allowed systemic racism to slowly grab hold of every part of our culture and society without most white people ever even noticing.

Recognizing our privilege is a first step. I have always been aware that I hold a lot of privilege - but I have never really known what to do with that information. I remember the first time I heard the words Black Lives Matter - I did not understand. While it was not recent, I have definitely said the words “all lives matter” at some point in my life.

I can now see how horribly wrong and ignorant that statement is and I hope that can be an example of how we can all grow and change.

This is not easy and it is not a fun process. There is still a lot of work for me to do. It might feel like it’s never ending. It might feel like whatever we do, we’re doing something wrong.

Please be willing to try. Be willing to get it wrong. Be willing to be uncomfortable. And be willing to want to do better.

Keep listening, keep learning.

Keep listening, keep learning. Diversify where and from who your content is coming from. Can you order that book from a Black-owned business rather than on amazon? There are so many amazing lists and resources being shared right now - do not ignore them. Share the things you find helpful & keep the conversation going.

Continue to listen and elevate Black voices. Also take a minute to note the white voices participating in the conversation, admitting mistakes and voicing a desire to do better.

Keep the conversation focused on what matters.

Before you say, “not all cops are bad” - make sure you’ve done the research to understand what defunding the police means and why people are saying this. They are not saying all cops are bad and should receive zero funding. They are not saying we do not need a police force.

Before you talk about the looting, ask yourself if you’re missing the point of what is happening?

If you’re saying "All Lives Matter” - you are definitely missing the point.

I love these thought suggestions on how to refocus the conversation by @feminist. Keep the conversation focused on what matters.

There are different types of silence.

There are different types of silence. Just make sure you’re still asking yourself the tough questions. Is your silence holding space or is it ignoring the truth?