I have been talking a lot about material things lately and so I wanted to take a minute to slow down and talk a little bit about the sentiment behind gifting.

A gift in my mind is a way to say “you matter to me”. I think where we often get hung up - is associating a gift with material things. A “gift” can be so much more intangible than that. It can be an experience, a gesture, a favor, a thought -or - a physical thing.

I LOVE a good experience gift and ‘quality time’ is definitely a love language of mine… but I am also not about to feel any shame for wanting to find the perfect little (tangible) gift to share with a friend or wanting to send my parents a little something to put underneath the tree this year.

So here’s what I really want to make clear - a gift can be anything you find meaningful (or even more-so, what you know your loved one will find meaningful). And as a side note, it’s good to consider the same logic here as we do for love languages - this isn’t about how you receive love, it’s about how they do. But the point here is to not feel tied down by a budget, or by time or by guilt. Make your gifts your own - and as long as your heart is in it, they will be perfect. And if you don’t have the time, money or mental energy to even approach the idea of a gift this year - just say that. Your friends WILL understand!

So as always, my goal is simply to spread inspiration and ideas that enable you to make decisions for yourself.

I personally love the random mid year “I saw this and thought of you” gift. I honestly hate any gift that is purchased just because you feel pressured to have a gift ready for any particular holiday. Skip those ones that make you feel stressed and opt for one of many other ways to say “you matter to me”.

So in honor of this pandemic holiday… I’m sharing 5 experience-based gift ideas that hopefully support the idea of “more love, less money” (and can be gifted from afar).

I can’t tell you exactly how to pick the best experience for a friend because the key to making this special is about how well you know your friend. Being able to make a plan based on what you know brings them joy.

1) Write a letter

I truly believe that this is the simplest and most effective way to tell someone you care. It’s really easy to sign off a conversation with a quick “I love you” - but how often do you slow down and tell them why? I don’t just love you. I love you because _____.

I love you because you are ____.

I love you because you make me feel special - like that one time you did _____.

I admire your ____.

Tip to make it extra special: Make your own card to add a handmade touch.

2) Plan an adventure for them

I usually think about gifting an experience as an opportunity to plan something that we get to do together. So in 2020 (the year of physical distance) I’m being pushed out of my comfort zone to think about how to plan an adventure for a friend… that I might not be a part of.

I think what makes this special is that you are putting in the legwork to make a full plan/itinerary that you know your friend will enjoy. Something that is already planned and they just have to show up and follow instructions - how fun is that?! This could revolve around an idea that your friend has been talking about but hasn’t made the time to do themself, or maybe something simple you just know they would enjoy.

Take the time to do some research. Find a hiking trail in their area and plan a picnic for them. Maybe you know the perfect place just two hours away that you can send them - whether that’s for the day or an overnight. Or maybe some other type of local attraction - a bomb donut shop, a hot spring, a special garden/park, or some other type of unique experience. The key here is that you’re building the experience for them - and giving them everything they need to just show up and enjoy it. And in some cases, maybe you’re ordering them do it. Because they need a little push to make the time and get out and do something for themself.

Tip to make it extra special: Send them a care package to support the plan.

This could be as simple as sending them their favorite snack bar to take on the hike. sending them a hand warmer for that ski trip because you know their hands ALWAYS get cold. Maybe they’ve been talking about wanting to start journaling but “don’t have the time”. Send them a journal in the mail, look up a cute local coffee shop and set a date for them to go there and spend an hour journaling while enjoying their favorite latte.

3) DIY Dinner night

Some people love cooking and some people just don’t. However, based on my experience - a lot of people don’t like cooking because it is something that brings them stress. They don’t like the grocery store, or looking for new recipes, or they never feel like they have the time to enjoy the process - for whatever reason, it just feels hard.

So my tip for you is to make it easy for them!

Pick the recipe for them based on what you know they like but also pushing them out of their comfort zone on something they wouldn’t normally choose on their own.

If this is a local friend - you could take the extra step to go grocery shopping for them and drop the ingredients they need on the doorstep (think DIY Hello Fresh).

Tip to make it extra special: Make them a playlist to listen to while they’re cooking. You could also make this a virtual cooking date by planning to FaceTime / Zoom while you are both chopping and prepping dinner.

4) Movie Night

Tip to make it extra special: send them a care package ahead of time with a few simple items to make this feel special. Send them a bag of popcorn, a little hot cocoa mix and a hand written note about why you love this movie to make it feel personal.

Tip to make it extra special: Send them a special movie care package that makes the movie night special. Send them a bag of popcorn, some hot cocoa mix and a hand written note about why you love this movie to make it feel more personal. Maybe you even make a plan to watch the movie on the same night at the same time.

5) Place a self care order

This one comes to mind when I think about my mom friends - because sometimes they get so good at taking care of those around them, that they forget to take the time to take care of themselves (or it just feels really hard or selfish to make the time). So that is why I refer to his one as “placing an order”. We are literally going to order our friends to do something for themself. And then do everything we can to make sure they carry that plan out. If they don’t live alone - who can you reach out to, to ensure they can have some uninterrupted time to themself?

Last night I took my first bath since being in the new house, and I have to admit it was pretty magical. I had ordered this yummy coconut bath milk and delicious smelling bath salts, I lit my favorite candles and spent an hour in there reading a book. It was probably the most relaxed I’ve felt in months. So I would suggest his exact plan for anyone who needs a little “me time”. Keep in mind that self care looks a little different for everyone - so pick the thing you know they will enjoy. It could also be about helping to eliminate some other thing in their life that brings them stress. Get creative. But in the end - be specific with the direction and the plan.

And while I was thinking of all my mom friends as I write out this idea… it can also be customized to anyone anywhere that needs a little extra push for some self care.

Tip to make it extra special: Make them a playlist to enjoy. Mail them that great book you just finished. Send them a bath bomb. send them a bottle of wine and a charcuterie board (because a little meat and cheese makes everything better). Come up with an idea that makes this personal for them.

To Wrap It All Up

So to wrap it all up, gifting an experience might remain a little closer to home this year - but it is still very possible.

The point of an experience gift is that it lives on as a shared memory. It helps root you and your loved ones together in something that you can talk about and reminisce on for long after the event takes place. So each of these 5 ideas are supported by the idea that - you may not be creating a shared experience - but you are creating an experience for your friend to enjoy that will make them think of you while they’re doing it. It still gives you something to talk about and connect with together.